Thursday, March 10, 2016

Different Level

Well I really don't know what to blog about today so I am going to wing it I guess. Today I got brave and I am dying my front bangs manic panic lizard green. I'm pretty excited about it. Its semi permanent so I'm really not to worried about it and plus green is my second favorite color. So that's my life today. I've been vaping like crazy and I think that's why I have been getting headaches so much. Normally I vape on a tank so I'm not getting so much juice and nicotine, but I am dripping now so I'm getting a lot more air and smoothing the juice on. Its a lot to take it since I've only been doing it since about Friday, I'm also addicited to doing vape tornados. I'm actually getting really good at it. I also got offered a job at the Vape shop that we always go to. Which would be fun because I like to vape and I'm really good with people and know how to do a lot of people things like handling cash.
But I don't know how my other half feels about it. He doesn't like that fact that there's no insurance but honestly money is money. I would actually enjoy my job and its a garneted job. I don't even have to have a interview or fill out an application because I'm there so freaking much.
The place is just really good and everyone there has another half so that makes my other half not worry so much. But he knows everyone there and there is another female which should make him feel better even though she's a loser and kinda crazy. But I'm still excited to make money and help with the bills. I haven't been paying bills since December and its killing us. No extra money for my birthday if we wanted to go out for dinner. No money to randomly go get tattoos, or by a cute 20 dollar pair of shoes. I want that. I want to be able to buy a pair of shoes and also be able to put gas in my truck or be able to run to the store for my other half and buy him smokes or a red bull cause he can't. I miss that shit. So we shall see. I am so tired and ready for a nap. A nap sounds really good and naps are my life so I am going to stop blogging and go nap. But it was nice to blog again so soon.

Monday, February 22, 2016

2016 Good Lord

Well its 2016 now. A lot has changed since I have last blogged. I used to work at Vector in Grand Rapids. I left that job after two years of being there... I moved down to Coldwater Michigan which is two hours away from Coopersville now. I moved down here with no friends and no job but you know what I think I moved because I was ready to start my life. I was ready to make that move and be with someone that completes me. His is name shall go unknown for now but we started talking June 28th of 2014. We finally met on a Saturday and I cooked him dinner and my mom met him which was scary as hell because its our first date. I took him to the pier in Grand Haven where he kissed me for the first time.

I was walking on this bench after we walked all the way down to the pier, anyways he walked a little bit past me and I said wait and had him come back and I grabbed his shoulders and he put his arms around me and let me slide down... our lips where slow close and our eyes where watching each other and I leaned in just a little and he finally kissed me... it was seriously the most amazing kiss in the entire world. His lips were soft and sweet. He was so gentle and kind with his kiss. I of course had a smile on my face that was bigger than the sun. I was so glad that he finally kissed me. I wanted to kiss him since he had gotten out of his van. He is so damn handsome and still is in 2016. His facle hair is so sexy, he has a little kitty patch and a Go-T that I love playing with. After I was around for awhile he got used to popping out his bottom lip so I could play with it. I mean how amazing of a man to let me sit there and play with his facial hair? No man on the planet would think that is ok but he does. He is amazing. He is manly and has tattoos and his laugh makes me laugh. He is sweet and respectful of me.

Now don't get me wrong we have had our ups and downs but not a lot and we worked through them even when he didn't want to. He made this relationship worth fighting for. He made me want to fight for him instead of flight. If any of the people from my past tried to walk away from me I would hold the damn door and hale them a cab. That's how much I didn't care about them.... but something is different with Him,,, he makes me a better person, he makes me feel beautiful and never bad about myself. He doesn't care if I'm in sweatpants or haven't brushed my hair in three days. If I want to put eye liner on or walk out side with no makeup on. He kisses me with bad breath and lets me snuggle the crap out of him. He does get annoyed with me but he knows love over powers the little things that he dislikes because that's just who I am. I believe you can always make improvements in your life and we have both helped improve each other. Not change just make each others life better by being there, by loving each other without strings, by kissing a little longer and spoiling each other with the time we have to offer. You don't just find that kind of love anywhere.
Most people in relationships try to change each other, cheat, go through their phones, ask for fb passwords, call each other names, go out and drink, lie to each other, still talk to ex's or people they've fucked. Things always go south with people you don't really love or give a crap about.

Its so nice to be with someone that doesn't do any of the above stuff. I have someone that actually wants to be with me for me. I had to prove myself to someone. I had to prove my trust and honesty to someone. I had to prove I am worth the fight for someone who had given up the fight. He didn't want to be loved and he didn't want to fall in love. He wanted nothing to do with a girlfriend or someone that wasn't going to give him the time of day to prove they aren't the shitty people of his past. I did. I took the time and made the effort. I did that for him because he is worth it. He still till this day after a year going on two thinks he's not worth it. He thinks I'm this crazy lady who is blinded by love. But that is false... I love him because he is unique, he looks at me, not through me. He listens to me even when I have to repeat the word "babe" to him a million times he still listens. I make him laugh and smile and that is so nice because for once in my life he's not laughing at me. He's laughing because I am making him laugh. I'm not a joke with him. I'm not the one he points and laughs at or doesn't want to take out in public. I'm the one by his side that asks for way to many kisses even though he hates it. I'm the one that laughs to loud and curses way to much for a woman. I'm the one that got on his wow account while he was in bed after his surgery that way he could get what ever he needed for three days. I'm the one he calls when he needs to make sure his phone is working and I'm the one he text when he's board or needs something for work. I run to the store and get it.

I am his rock and he is mine<3